Can't please everyone

written by Tami on Sun, 28th Mar 2010 at 11:52 am

You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't! Who to please? When to please? How to please? We can't please everyone but sometimes you just have to take what you get.

The heat is on, i think it's about 90 degrees outside and inside the un-AC-ed building the temperature is even higher since the electricity went. You can smell everything minus the AC at the office; people's breathe, the secretary's sweaty underarm, that girls' stocking eww, this is probably her third time wearing it without washing it.

Every few months this shit happens, especially around summer time. The electricity goes out then the Air Conditioning breaks down, then low voltage, then someone farts and you walk into it at the printer! Gross!

It's 2 pm in the afternoon, a time when niggaritis hits after consuming the over night food we all had for lunch, 4 out of 6 people are yawning, the other 2 are partially asleep at their desks, but from a distance they still manage to look busy.

I need to go home from this heat, maybe I should talk to the boss.

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Secondhand Love

written by owen on Fri, 19th Mar 2010 at 8:36 pm

You threw me away now I'm out of style. One theory is that the earth is actually round and made up of plates than are floating on a molten core BUT I still believe the earth is flat and they just telling lies so that we have to spend all or money on expensive plane tickets and get radar scanned on a regular basis. Slaves to the commercial airlines, government propaganda and dish networks. Soon they'll start telling us that the moon is not made of cheese.

At one point I wondered what I was supposed to do with the sauce thing and I started dipping cucumbers into it but it was totally tasteless like it was some kinda salad dressing but by them it was too late, I had already started rubbing the vegetables into the barbecue gravy that was running off the chicken. I was running out of it fast though, sadly.

You haven't lived until your back wheels reach terminal traction and you start experiencing extreme over-steer in all directions. What was a ordinary turn of events becomes measure of extremes on a front wheel drive-train. The backside takes on a mind of its own and is all too happy to keep going in one direction. By the time you start facing in the correct direction 3 blood vessels would have exploded in you brain. You have entered a place called the twilight zone.

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Mean Old World

written by owen on Sat, 06th Feb 2010 at 12:50 pm

My next door neighbor washes his new SUV EVERY MORNING before he goes to work. And he used to do it with his old car too. Both inside and outside. That is how I know that he either has nothing to do or is a compulsive cleaner. In the future cars will be coated in sheep fur that grows in the winter and you have to shave it in the summer. Go back to the start.

I was not going to say anything about the Haitian thing because people will simply think that I am insensitive to concerns of the people but really I'm jealous. I have not saved anybody since the year has stared. the sooner or I save somebody the sooner I can chilling. I have the ability to make jokes out of serious situations but it keeps me objective, keeps the dent in the rare quarter panel of my car from being fixed because I fear they will make it worst. First world problems.

As you enter a restaurant, if you see it has a pool, lake or something like then you can tell instantaneously tell its going to be ridiculously expensive. Double if the pool contains fish, exotic fish or crabs.        The food will be tasty and strange and they'll bring you drinks and bread to fill you up while you wait 30 minutes for the real food. Like a raindrop needs a shower. I just realised I have been writing this for like 3 weeks. Well, so it go.

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My Guitar Slowly Weeps

written by owen on Mon, 04th Jan 2010 at 9:59 pm

Another year passes and I have yet again failed to learn and memorize every single detail of everyone of my friends. I can only hope to become a better person this year. Knowledge, wisdom and understanding. I am a real late starter. I see the floor and it needs sweeping, the world it keeps turning. You would think that getting to know everybody would be simple with the six-zillion people connected to me on stalker-book. Leaving little bible verses for me everyday, selling me cows, showing me pictures of their prized items/children/insecurities/boobies. But such is not the case. All it has done is given me more lists to manage, people to transform and questions to ask.

I am not going to do a recap the year's best posts or the best of you. It would only make me re-read things I have already written, make mistakes where there are none, taint the bueaty that lies in the mind of the beholder. I will program a way to auto-magically do it next year (if I get around to actually doing it). I am a real late starter. I'm making up for lost time.

All I can be is thankful but I still have a weird feeling that I have done this before. My beard keeps growing back, not sure why, since I keep cutting it and the prices for hair cuts keep getting higher and higher. I still haven't found that deserted island with no mirrors. I am not sure if I am getting better or worst. I used to be so nice. I ran out of ketchup and the little packets in the fridge have been in there for more than a year. Dilemma.

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Deliverance

written by owen on Thu, 10th Dec 2009 at 6:26 pm

All my favorite things eventually get taken away. I have no HBO or Cinemax cheesy latenight softporn. I hope you all are happy now, now that we are in a drought because we did not have any hurricanes. Added to the fact that my favorite Chinese food place burnt to the ground yesterday. Well it didn't really burn to the ground but I am deeply saddened and I certainly won't be able to partake of the blessing that is chicken-fry-rice anytime soon. CURSES!!!

I was recently gifted with a tiny little blue fish. I'm pleased to announce that it is not dead yet and no, I have not named it. Why should I name it? I am its only friend. Sometimes I stare at it and wonder what it thinks about now that it is trapped in a cashew bottle on my "chest of draws". That phrase always makes me laugh alittle on the inside, "chest of draws", "house of cards", deoxyribonucleic acid. Sometimes it become imobile, almost as if sleeping or texting while driving. I give the bowl a gentle tap, then I feed it.

It was suggested that I go off to the north coast for my vacation, I'm pleased to announce that I instead spent most of the time sleeping. Other than that, I spent my time reading and thinking about complicated software architectures of LMS systems. Maybe the concept of a vacation eludes my simple mind.

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