written by owen on 2020-Jun-05.
If the things I do not have could save me from my current maintenance headaches then I would live forever searching for these things - that I do not have. But alas somethings you cannot escape. As the old people used to say "they are apart of life" like how trees are apart of the leaves. Do not focus too much on your current struggles. Everything is phase. Everything moves from one thing to the next. I try to enjoy the present with a view that one needs to be resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering for at any moment or time a little detail could and will can change ever so slightly.
I really should be enjoying this early summer slash working from home. But remote work is trash. Remote work is like pooping where you eat or eating your own dog food. I already have a "at home" work routine. And on the other hand a "at work" work routine. THESE HANDS DO NOT CLAP! Mixing these 2 leads to severe unproductivity. I have lost track of the days. I like that there is no traffic on the roads but I hate that everywhere you go you need to line up for hours. All those people who prayed Jamaica was a orderly place must be in heaven now - but this cant last - it shant.
Somethings you will only understand when there is no one left to ask the question. The fresh air of nothingness frees the mind. When no more connections can be formed in the circuits of your mind you will know in certain finality that this is what it all meant. It is hard to explain like physics. You know the thing is in front of you because you can see it but is it really there? And as you turn your pretty little face away will it be there tomorrow? Why does it have to be like this? I can never tell. But this is the way it has to be.