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How would you let down a person who wants to date you, but you just aren't interested?

submitted on 23rd Sep 2009. A part of Questions. Ask a question.

written by Tami

Male or Female. General Curiosity

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the joy of dating must be tempered by the challenge of rejecting people in an effective yet humane manner. The rain makes the sunshine seem brighter?
One could say, "you seem cool and while I respect you and enjoy your company I'm not interested in dating you".
Or,
"I'm sorry but there's too much of an age difference between us. I just don't think it'll work".
Or,
"I never date guys named Bertram--my grandfather's name was Bertram and it just makes me feel weird".
And then if the person argues one could try, "it's really disrespectful of you to ignore my wishes--I would never date a person who cannot respect my feelings".

This only gets complicated if the person has a history of murdering people who turn him/her down. At that point you have to change your name and relocate. Oh, and change your telephone number.
Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 at 9:22 pm

by Gods Child
The one thing I must say is that you have to be super careful with those who are stalkerish with their tendencies....That's never fun
Tue, 29th Sep 2009 at 11:17 pm

by Aurie
GC You seem to have this figured out quite well. Fun stuff
Thu, 24th Sep 2009 at 4:10 pm

by Tami
I was just saying the same thing to myself! GC, you must be fending off guys left, right and centre!
Sun, 27th Sep 2009 at 4:27 pm

by Mad Bull
After a while of not accepting the persons' request to join them for lunch or go on a date or always being busy when they call to chit chat or something i'd expect they would get the idea.
I hate letting down peopl striaght up unless they are cocky and act like they are the air up there.
One time i asked a good friend to play boyfriend so that this guy would quit annoying me; it worked for a while.
Thu, 24th Sep 2009 at 4:13 pm

by Tami
What seems to work is you simply humor the person, talk to them while they are in your presence, make promises to contact them at a later time but never do, constantly be mean and indifferent to them, showing little interest in their meaningless life while parading yourself and pictures of all the fun you had at the party where you accidentally forgot to call them. Floss.
Eventually their love will turn into bitter hate, disgust and contempt at the shell of a person that you have become in their eyes. They will stop calling you and eventually gain a sense of enlightenment at the fact that you could never be the right person for them. Because a person who loves them could never be so vapid. Their love will turn into pity, at which point you can ask them for forgiveness, their friendship and to take a picture of your new hairdo so that you can post it on facebook.
Its important that you destroy any shred of hope left in their eyes or they will become stalkerish, vindictive or possibly even malicious. A the end of it all, you should come out of it with a good, trustworthy friend that may be tempted to sleep with you every now and again but the horrible way in which you treated them will be forever burnt into their subconscious. Making the vomit internally at the very thought.
Its a win-win situation.
Thu, 24th Sep 2009 at 4:46 pm

by owen
Wow owen...do you need a hug? LOL
Sun, 27th Sep 2009 at 3:47 pm

by Pepper
its pure science girl, pure science
Sun, 27th Sep 2009 at 4:38 pm

by owen
Its easy for me, when a girl rush me and I not into it, I simply say that I'm married!
Huh? If I'm ever into it? You mad? I'm married. :)
Sun, 27th Sep 2009 at 4:31 pm

by Mad Bull
What if she likes Married men? Haven't you seen the movie Obsessed?
Tue, 29th Sep 2009 at 6:09 pm

by Tami
Haven't seen obsessed, no... and I have it, you know... one of these days I'll actually watch it. Maybe after next week Monday.

Ahm... if she likes married men, huh? You trying to involve me in polytricks or wah?
Thu, 01st Oct 2009 at 7:29 pm

by Mad Bull
DWL, neither...i'm just saying,its a possibility
Tue, 13th Oct 2009 at 10:31 pm

by Tami
Or... one could just say "No", smile and walk away. Quick, painless. [friendly]
Mon, 28th Sep 2009 at 1:22 pm

by Xeno
...and then get shot in the back.

No thanks.
Tue, 29th Sep 2009 at 6:08 pm

by Tami
My goodness...so morbid y'all. I guess these are the times we live in.
Tue, 29th Sep 2009 at 11:19 pm

by Aurie
yeah, I miss the good old days, when all you had to do was give the daddy a couple cows and the girl was yours. [sorry]
Fri, 02nd Oct 2009 at 3:31 pm

by owen
I am always very polite and respectful when a girl tries to have something going with me.I mostly use excuses or show little interest and for the most part that works.
I have had some extreme cases from primary school until now. When I was younger I wouldn't even look at a girl I had no interest in at all, just ignore and avoid her(Shameful I know). I realize now I couldn't bring myself to rejecting that person in a straight forward way.
It gets complicated when a genuine friendship develops and you know that the other person wants more than friendship or worst when this person is your superior at work.
As an adult I mostly use excuses, still ignore it, use sentences with "my girlfriend" and overall indifference to flirts.
I have had times the love/like turn to hate-contempt.There is this much younger girl at work who is very persistent, more than that girl who use to come to my house.
She does daily walk-by at my cubicle, insist I sit closer to her, ask me if I miss her,request access to my Facebook and Hi5. invite herself to one of my ear phones when I am listening to my mp3,demand to know why I was absent Questions,questions.
She has also threatened to "juk out my eyes"
Nothing has worked and her persistence has paid off because I have developed a friendship with her and I really, really like her, in all this she has a boyfriend.
I knew this from the beginning but now I feel like I would want something much more with her and there is the potential that I will in the long run eventually be the one getting rejected.
This one has turned on me
Sun, 04th Oct 2009 at 6:02 am

by Dutty
oh wow, I don't see this ending well for you at all
Tue, 06th Oct 2009 at 8:21 am

by owen
wow you probably shouldn't be in the parking lot alone after dark . . . just saying
Tue, 06th Oct 2009 at 12:04 pm

by Gods Child
Rhatid! This should be written as an actual blog post. So you now like the girl who threatened to juk out u eye? LOL, DWL, LMAO, how many more net breviations can i use? Darn it, that solid my yute, she ketch you in her trap. Hush
Tue, 13th Oct 2009 at 10:34 pm

by Tami
joining in on the pointing and laffing lol
u mek she get to u man
Sat, 17th Oct 2009 at 3:53 pm

by pepper
Depends, if it's someone I like as a friend I'd let 'em down gently. If it's someone I think might turn into a stalker, a good dose of cheese, followed by a round of gas always does what no words of mine ever can.
You have to be really committed to deal with my lactose intolerance. Most men aren't.
Tue, 06th Oct 2009 at 6:27 am

by SE
wow you girl...lol
Sat, 17th Oct 2009 at 3:53 pm

by pepper
i dunno
Sun, 13th Dec 2009 at 5:17 am

by jayrulez
Just tell them you not interested, but for some reason that doesn't work in Jamaica. Even if you tell them you have a boyfriend, they don't really care.
Wed, 03rd Feb 2010 at 4:42 pm

by Jammy
will tell you later
Tue, 02nd Mar 2010 at 10:55 pm

by marqthompson
Ignore her. That has worked well so far
Wed, 14th Apr 2010 at 1:08 pm

by Apocalypse