written by owen

I was watching the weather last night. checking out the weather forcaster who was wearing a black and yellow suit/thing. She looked like she was pregnant but in that hot-mother-of-your-children early pregnancy stage. The only thing I care about in the weather are huricanes but tonight the remote had died and I just sat there watching local television. I also noticed something odd. At the very point when the show ends she begins to smile. A very big smile like the one you get from the good looking air hostess on an Air Jamaica flight - right before breakfast. The kinda smile that makes you smile on the inside so hard that it flows through you like an illegal amphetamine-based synthetic drug with euphoric and hallucinatory effects or a track on the new madonna album. Then when we both realise (me and the weather forcaster) that the "cut to commercials" is taking too long and she could not hold the smile any longer. She broke her smile. It left me with a sad feeling in side.

Earlier that day I was sitting reading last last week's sunday gleaner, becuase of a flux in the space time continuum, I missed out on reading it LAST WEEK. I don't know why I buy the newspaper anyway because it really makes your fingers black with ink which transfers to everything you touch. I usually feel like I am missing out on local events, murders and competitions, so I make sure to buy it from the paper guy when he visits early on a sunday morning. Usually riding around a bicycle with really old clothes on. Hes a cool old guy. Its kinda like a subscription service without the subscription. This week I am buying the Jamaica Observer because I hate when everybody is reading the same stuff I am reading. Plus I like to live ON THE EDGE.

Usually in the auto section is a picture of car I can't buy and a full review. I scan through the auto-classifieds. Then I check out the Socials Section to see what the overly rich are doing in their non-blood-sucking time. The "careers" section has a "job-hunting while pregnant article" with a picture of a very white, very pregnant belly. The middle section has a magazine called "Outlook". The title picture is of a guy who's first name is Sunday. Further in is a article on a jamaican harp maker. There is also an entire section on the ADA motor show 2005 which I missed because I was too busy to read the paper LAST WEEK.

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