written by owen on 2022-Oct-25.
Waiting on the perfect time to post is just another form of procrastination. There is no perfect time to post. You might as well write the words down now before you forget or they get overwritten/buried into your brain. I do not know what I have forgotten since my last post. I can feel the thoughts but they are too deep down for me to drag them up again without a long rope. Or maybe a long nap. In either case there is too much going on now to risk the journey back to that place.
Death has a certain finality about it. A certain definite certainty. When someone dies you cry and I think your brain comes to the realization that there will be no new thoughts with that person - no new connections can be formed. So your brain goes into overdrive clotting all the open edges. It is a moment of deep reflection. There is nothing you can do but wait until it's done. It's like a very slow printer.
I am getting better at taking pictures of strangers so it must be sapping the energy I usually assigned to my other skills. I do believe in finite energy. There is only so much you can do. Only so much time. The older I get the more I am aware of this time. The more I want to avoid blindly going down paths which have already been trodden by people, knowingly or unknowingly. Every time I turn on the pipe and water rushes out I feel blessed. I feel connected to the greater world - the greater struggle that is life. Its like a modern zen. Someday you will understand. Mechanics, physics, knowledge, wisdom, understanding and everything.