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Mario Kart Wii Sucks

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posted by owen on 2009-Jun-11.

Here I will list reasons in my opinion why the Wii release of the popular series is probably the worst version ever;

  • Bikes. Why would someone add a second type of vehicle into a game that is called Mario "Kart"? Not only that but make it so that they are faster and better handling than regular karts.

  • Having 12 racers breaks the balance of the item distribution. You either have to be at the very last position or at first to be certain of what you are going to get in your item box. And even then you might get something that is of little help.
  • The item distribution itself is broken. Try playing a 2 player vs match without the computer AI. What you will end up with are 2 racers trying to kill each other with bananas. If a gap is created between the players it is impossible to catch the other player because all you will get are bananas.
  • Losing your hard earned item when you drop of a ledge, or get hit by lightning makes it impossible to maintain any kind of strategy when holding items or retaliating after being hit. You either got to use it as soon as you get it or pray that somebody in last place doesn't use a lightning. Item hording is a choice, removing it only make the game shallow.
  • Stupid, superficial items. Why would you have a item in a game that when used has not effect on computer controlled players?
  • Lack of realistic hit physics. Now I know, "realistic" may not be the appropriate word in this scenario but I remember when I hit a player with a red shell while he/she was in a power slide he would go flying off a edge into a hole. Yeah I know it is evil to do but it was fun and required exact timing. Now, nothing happens the person get hit, flies straight up in the air on the spot. Pure BS.
  • Team Battles should be optional. In fact the whole battle mode is a mere shadow of what it once was.
  • Blue shells that explode. I've read about this numerous times. The last thing I've noticed is that if the first place racer has already crossed the finish line then the blue shell comes after whomever is next in rank. Meaning a world of pain for those who just want to be left alone with their third place position.
  • Having more over powered items in the game without removing the old items throws off the random item selection mechanic. I can't remember the last time I got a fake question mark box. While at he same time you get bananas, 3 bananas, 3 boost, single boost, gold boost, green shell, and tons of other stuff that becomes unnecessary now, because the only real item that can make you win is the Bullet Bill or Star. Every other item becomes a useless waste of space. Bomb, Green shells? useless.
  • Something is off with the controls I can't really tell exactly but the rainbow track is awful to drive on.
  • Poor hit detection on shells. Total travesty!
  • The menus look very primitive.
  • Power sliding seems to be made useless, not sure if its because of the track design or the handling of the vehicles but something is not right with it. People who can do manual power slides seems to have no advantage over the regular automatic mode.
  • Tracks; I am not sure about these new tracks. They seem to interfere with the player more than necessary and have no good short cuts or places to jump across. The tracks in Mario Kart Wii seem more like site seeing trips rather than race courses. Odd bumps and distractions are all around. The Mario Track from the N64 version is probably the best track on the thing.

Basically the more you suck at Mario Kart Wii - the more you enjoy it.


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  1. totally untrue. I have a blast, and I have a three star 9999 VR ranking with the wheel, logging over 580 hours. I would actually say the opposite - the more you suck, the less you enjoy it.

    by Z 2009-Dec-4 

  2. BAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW
    That's all I'm hearing from you

    by anonymous 2010-Jan-28 


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