I did promise that I was going to be less cynical, going forward, but it is hard. Really, really hard. The whole world is full of fire, half asses and people who like to waste your time. I was listening to this program on radio this morning while I was trying not to get killed by someone texting while driving. The program was about a tech-company in Africa who is tackling the water shortage and sanitation problem by providing a app that people can use to make complaints to thier water commission. This cutting edge technology is going to save the world.
I still get a strange feeling whenever I lose something. Annoyance and sadness are emotions that are the base of my existence. I should be better at this by now, like a monkey. Even though I should not be envious of evil people, I am still weary of the life which we live, the give and the take, the pointlessness. I prefer comfort over any other state of being. All the world is a stage. I desire nothing but comfort.
I should learn to disregard the things that do not matter. 80/20. Cast aside the things that are material, not necessary, a warm blanket over beautiful skin, desires. I should not want to fall in love with anything. No time for regret. All is here for a time.
Somewhere at some place in time my favorite 90s alternative rock song is playing but I am not there to hear it. All that exists is the moment in which you stand. The now, and then. There may be things in the future but only on my todo list. Sing with me just for today. Wallow in your emotions of now, in your little corner. If it makes you happy?
It is a foreign feeling to be in a foreign country with a foreign language. A place that doan know my name. Down any street you walk by people going about their business while I watch and wait. Party like it's 1999. Soon it will be time to go home and all I will have are souvenirs of a foreign feeling in a foreign place in time.
There are some experiences that you can only have once. Experiences that live with you forever and float out into space like beams of light. It is too bad that there is no way to transfer these experiences to other people. Maybe other people would not want to be troubled with your stale experiences. So why do anything at all?
Sheffi commented: Experiences...humans do not experience things, situations, places similarly. One will be looking in awe at a picturesque landscape and trying to absorb it in an effort to add it to their catalog of memories while another occupying a similar space will be wondering how fast they could get in front of a television and 'watch' nature from the comfort of their living room.
Keep on living and sharing my friend. ... read 1 more
It is the spring and the ants have come out in thier numbers as if I had put up a "for-rent" sign on a luxury apartment - breakfast included. Time does make you bolder. No habla espanol. There is absolutely nowhere that you can leave an empty wrapper that they won't find in a matter of minutes. Tu Como? I came home to find them eating tomato ketchup. Now it is all out war.
I started watching Netflix the other day. The thing with netflix is that I have already watched all the movies on cable and I am not interested in watching seasons that tell the same stories over and over; the indecisive hero, the outlaw, the complicated mass murder or the man with a secret past. I like that it allows me to watch old movies but Dey-ja-vu is not an experience that like to wallow in. I am sticking with cable.
I am also going to try to reduce my tendency to be a killjoy. I realize that people NEED an escape from reality and they do not want someone constantly reminding them of the speed of light, time and physics. I am going to live in the moment of your lack of objectivity. Ignorance is bliss. Somethings make us human and one is that we do not share the same reality in our heads. Our perspective on things that matter and things that are important are not aligned to any kind of axis. Things intersect, converge, collide and change in the real and in our minds and everything will be fine in the future.
I have no idea what I want to do for my birthday which is not unsual. Birthdays for me are a constant yearly reminder than I am not young anymore and that all the things in my head are memories of a state in a time of a place where which why once was then how. I head to a point in time, I reach quickly then I am glad that it is over but miss the old days, only to find a new destination but heading is slow and nothing ever completes. The slow life is a cycle.
I have realised that most people are just kids inside old bones. They all want the same things that they wanted as a child and the world is just not letting them go outside and play in the rain. Not a care in the world.
If there was one thing I would hope other people would understand about me is that I am only good at a few things. Hell is other people. Obsessions. The few things are not interchangeable. They cannot be swapped out and replaced like words in a picture, seasons in a year. I am not a seed in the desert hoping for rain. A flower waiting to bloom. Life ain't always what it seems. The speed of light.
I have learnt that there is no way to alleviate someone's deepest fears. Monkeys and buses. There is nothing you can do about the shadow behind them as they walk along the bank of a river. A fear of the future is likened to a fear of physics itself. Fearing the earth rotating around the sun. A fear of gravity. The law of conservation of energy. Entropy. The constant march towards chaos. The speed of light. These things are certain. Hold on to them.
Everyday is a near death situation. If it's not H1N1 then something else will get you. You never know. You might wake up one morning with a small head or pain that is never over. Weed is my only friend. I am not negative I just understand the problem more that you do. I spend more time thinking it over - so I have instant answer. My faith is real, yours are enthusiasm. Every story has 2 sides.
No use waiting around for bad shit to happen. I broke both of my favorite Rayban sun glasses in the same week I must be lucky or the devil may have it out for me or God is teaching me a lesson. I don't know but I bought a new pair and a replacement band for my watch so that I can tell the time. If I find a small enough screwdriver I could remove the arms from the old glasses and attach them to the new one so that I can be transcendent.