written by owen

After 25 e-mails you tend to think that the girl is either not interested, busy, crazy, a mother, has a boyfriend, is secretly married, short, cheap, lazy, playing games, thinks your conversational skills suck or is a 40 plus year old undercover police officer writing a book on ophthalmology. Blessed is he that expects nothing. I need to hook up with more girls in my area code.

Its hard to believe that its been two years since the bombs started falling in Bagdad. Weird how time flies when your having fun. The Pope is sick. Watching local news is too depressing. If they found a gun collection in my house I would say that they belonged to my baby sitter. America eats its babies.

There is nothing like a wet, naked, white, girl running through the forest at night - every movie should start that way. - Bigz (the nephew)

If I am being kept alive by a feeding tube I want strawberry ice cream and two beers a day. If your going to feed me that nutritious tasteless crap everyday - I would rather starve to death. Hey I have an idea, what about washing machines that come in 3 different colours? blue, peach and orange.

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