written by Tami on 2015-Nov-20.
Are the days where people actually marry because they are in love really gone? Its not in totality, but it definitely is on it's way out. The 21st century men are now more picky in choosing a partner for life, seeing that finances play a pivotal role and is the number one killer of relationships and marriages.
His life partner has to have a job or be carrying in some form of income into the union. Gone are the days, when a man took a wife and promised her family to take care of her. In the olden days, the woman would be responsible for the home and kids, while the man was the sole bread winner. Now, things have changed tremendously as both partners have to take home the bread.
Evidence of this so called new age type of union is evident, even in pop culture and notable in a popular song titled I dont mind by Usher featuring Juicy J. In the song, Usher states that even if shes dancing on the pole as long as shes making her money, he wont mind. Note, Usher is a Grammy award winning singer and song writer. He has sold out many concerts and it would seem that money would not be an issue when it comes to him. Yet, he's the one that has taken on the responsibility of showing men that hey, its ok that even though she doesnt makes her bread conventionally, the fact is that shes contributing to paying the bills.
Three (3) attributes that the 21st century man looks for in a woman he chooses to make a wife.
1. She must be independent Some men no longer want their women to be totally dependent on them financially. Her independence (as long as shes not making more money than him) is vital for the longevity of the relationship. Plain and straight, she must have a job.
2. She must be ambitious Even if she doesn't have the regular 9 - 5 She should have initiative and ambition to want to better herself. Even if it's a hustle, like stripping according to Usher, he wont mind as long as you can help pay the light bill.
3. She must be coming into the union with some form of asset like a house or car or well off family which can help out when times get hard and not her two long hand. The 21st century man is more quick to marry a woman who already has her own stuff or whose family has a business and some links in the business world which he can somehow benefit from. There has to be something that he should be benefiting from the relationship. He is looking for someone who can 'help him out' as well.
While sex is still the most important thing to men; these days, women have to bring more to the table than just sex and a hot body. The value of sex has fallen so drastically, that little importance is placed on actual relationships. Men don't need to wife or wine and dine a girl following the 90 day rule to have sex. Instead, if and when he's ready to settle, his partner has to be exceptional and it doesn't hurt if she has a little change in the bank.
So, to the 21st century man, go forth and prosper. Love is secondary, right?