owenSoft.net - Movies

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol - Review (Movies)

2011-12-31 16:09:52

I thought it was pretty good. I don't remember them playing the mission impossible theme (you know at the point where it would start and you know some crazy shit is about to happen?) often enough. But besides that the stunts where cool with some seat of your pants action. The other team members manage to not annoy me too much which is surprising and none of them ended up being a double agent - which tends to happen allot in action movies nowadays.

Some elements are good but not as good as the Cliff hanging in MI3 or hanging above the computer room in the original MI movie but it certainly holds it own. Oh yeah and tom cruise does lots of running, I don't know how anybody can possibly out run him unless they were Bolt but its a action movie so the stunts are not really based on reality.

I give it a 9 out of 10. Lots of tech-gadgets and women and cars, running, no sex, no boobies, wicked stunts, hits to the head, almost feels like james bond, Watch it in the theatre just for the nice fly over scenes in Dubai.

by owen () make a comment

In Time Movie Review (Movies)

2011-11-11 06:47:55

In the not-too-distant future the aging gene has been switched off. To avoid overpopulation, time has become the currency and the way people pay for luxuries and necessities. The rich can live forever, while the rest try to negotiate for their immortality. A poor young man who comes into a fortune of time, though too late to help his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a corrupt police force known as 'time keepers'.

Lets start out by saying that its a good movie. Above average. If you look past the constant "time puns" and the fact that the lead actress has very sharp knees. They is also lots of running in the movie - they run everywhere like zebras, which in itself is not bad but the lead actress is running and jumping off roofs in high heals (this lady just can't get some dam flats?). At one point her sharp knees got so much screen time that I had to cover my eyes in share pain and look away.

The movie progresses a along and plays out exactly as in the spoiler-full trailer (better not to watch it). Its kinda weird that everybody is young and the mom is hot milf but you get accustomed to the unnaturalness of it.

I give the movie a 7 out of 10. Not fully fleshed out, no major surprises but still worth a watch at the theatre, sharp knees, lots of running, pointless desires, happy ending.

by owen () make a comment

Ghetta Life Movie Review (Movies)

2011-10-04 13:16:38

On the surface it may seem like another scar-face bad-man Jamaican murder gun-movie. And yes it does have some of those elements but it never goes too far and it often skillfully avoids falling into some of the traps that these local Jamaican movies fall in to. Its well written, and nicely shot.

Its a wonderful movie go watch it, now. More info is on its website, I was almost tempted to give it a 10 out of 10 but it had no sex scene so it will have to settle for a 9 out of 10.

by owen () make a comment

Columbiana Movie Review (Movies)

2011-09-04 08:53:44

Based on the the trailor you would think that this was going to be La Feme Nikita but it is not. Seems like every movie must have a parkuor scene. Zoe zaldana plays a skinny black/white girl who grows up to be the little girl from The Professional. The movie plays into every stereotype possible - calling it simple is overstating the movie's plot. It is a movie about clueless cops that have nothing better to do that chase a revenge serial killer for 5 years only to solve the whole case in 5 minutes of stumbling across clues. It all reminds me of the movie Salt, in its need to craft unnecessary and complicated action sequences to wow the simple minded.

While I was watching the movie I hoped she would eat a hamburger or a cow or something. I can only assume she runs on solar energy. The sence of deja vu is rampant with scenes and sections ripped from the original movie. Anybody who has watched The Professional will be like "I have seen this before!".

Because the movie is PG13, most people die offscreen and there are no scenes which I would call jaw dropping, unless you enjoy seeing Zoe partially naked and barebacked. I give it 5 out of 10. Its a pretty average movie with a skinny girl kicking butt. Wait until its on cable or watch The Professional - its much better.

by owen () make a comment

Transformer: Dark of the moon review (Movies)

2011-07-17 18:13:57

Transformers was a pointless, leggy, souless mess but I liked the megan fox version better. I give it a 6 out of 10. I watched it in 3d but I cannot remember anything in the movie that warrented the 3d glasses. I am always in awe of people who clap at transforming robots, seriously? Megan fox looks better running in the desert in her white jeans, this new girl has long legs but cannot run to save her life, I'm surprised that something didn't fall on her. The guy sitting behind me exclaimed: "All this for one woman?". I fail to even see why they are humans in these movies anymore, dudes still shooting machine guns at robots that could easly step on them, it was all pointless. Save you money.

by owen () make a comment

Xmen First Class Review (Movies)

2011-06-05 10:47:50

I hate when reviewers come on and say that the first set of movies were wack and this new one was the best one ever! - come on dudes how do you work that logic out? How can you not like the first 4 movies in a series and start hyping up a prequel? I see lots of reviewers doing it nowadays, I don't see how you it makes sense. If you know the series and liked the first set of movies, Xmen first class will be as as predictable as it was boring.

I give it a 7 out of 10. There is at most 3 good scenes in the whole movie. If you are a fan of the previous movies and have the money to burn then wathc it otherwise wait until it comes out on cable. Its a good super hero movie, though it starts a bit slow.

by owen () make a comment

Fast Five Movie Review (Movies)

2011-04-30 11:16:03

The name of the movie may suck but everything else is totally great. If you love impossible stunts, pretty cars, flying over the statue of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, then this show will not disappoint. This movie would have been the best in the series except it doesn't have the soundtrack of 2 but it makes up for it in terms of story. 9 out of 10. Excellent. Go watch it in the theater now. Make sure you watch the credits for a bonus scene.

by owen () make a comment

Hanna Movie Review (Movies)

2011-04-14 13:54:20

The best movie I've seen so far this year. Good music, good atmosphere, good cinematography, my rating 9 out of 10. Near perfect. And all those people complaining about the ending are simply haters.

by owen () make a comment

Sucker Punch Review (Movies)

2011-04-07 15:35:36

Sucker Punch is one of those movies that tries to do something but ends up not really doing anything at all. Maybe it tried to do too much. In 1999 you could fill a movie with tons of CGI graphics and slow motion and the movie would automatically be good. Today you could spend a billion dollars on computer graphics and it would all be for naugh because everybody has seen computer generated dragons and Lords of the Rings and Band of Brothers.

Everything you will see in this movie has been done BEFORE and BETTER in other films. The movie is as predictable as it is an annoying mishmash of other movies. I give it a 6 out of 10. Average movie that tries something new but ends up being more annoying than innovative. Watch it when it comes out on cable.

by owen () make a comment

Better Mus Come review (Movies)

2010-10-19 10:38:22

Better Mus Come covers diverse topics in Jamaican culture, politics and crime without delving too deep into aspects of tribal warfare and gun politics. This however may alienate non-Jamaicans and people who may not have the background knowledge to pick up the hidden and not so hidden messages. That being said, the movie is the better for it. Its lack of hand holding. Clearly it was put together by fresh minds not enslaved by American movie conventions.

Locations are nicely selected and the still shots are bueatiful and poetically done. Everything from the old kerosene oil lantern and tight bell bottom pants, to the wrought iron patio chairs add to authenticity of the period piece.

My rating 9 out of 10. Near perfect. It could only be better if the local theaters didn't split the movie in 2 with a 10 minute intermission. It is well worth the ticket price. Go see it now!

by owen () make a comment

Inception Review (Movies)

2010-08-14 09:02:39

Long movie is long and full of explanation but it was good because that was its only downside. Rating 9 out of 10: Must watch. Not necessarily in the theater. No mature content. Lots of talking. May mess with your mind. You may want to watch it twice.

by owen () make a comment

Salt Review (Movies)

2010-08-11 20:59:09

The adventures of a skinny white woman. That basically it. I remember the last time at my last job (before I became a spy) my manager requested that I join him in a meeting. Luckily I made a bomb out of some kersene oil I had stored in my desk draw, blew a whole through the wall and made a quick exit in the getaway car I had parked in the driveway specifically for emergencies such as that.

It turns out some months later I got word that the memo was sent to me by mistake. It is this sort of "over reacting" that plagues SALT to the core, especially in the first half of the movie. That and the physics defying, impossibly impossible stunts. The movie should be renamed to CRAZY SKINNY WHITE LADY JUMPS.

The story is good though predicatable while Angelina Jolee is some kinda "spy" slash escape artist that has had a little too much of the powder. I give it 7 out of 10. Very predictable, watch it on cable, skinny white lady doing impossible stunts, twist ending.

by owen () make a comment

Last house on the left (2009) Review (Movies)

2010-07-13 08:30:50

Based on Wes Craven’s 1972 original (and better) film. Last house on the left follows 2 girls that get kidnapped by murders and eventually end up at the house that is on the left of a lake. I am not sure if Hollywood is running out of ideas or the screen writers have some idea that Americans are retarded. The original movie was at one point banned.

The 2009 release takes a complicated edgy movie and transforms it into a load of monkey poo. Strong female characters are turned into damsels in distress; smart people are seen rummaging through their garage like they have never seen it before; people randomly talk to the screen in order to explain what is going on in the movie. Basically all the characters are a mere shadow of their former selves, each transformed into stereotypical twentieth century fools, helpless puppets to convention.

For the most part as expected they added the cheesy, pointless, blood and gore to this re-release. For instance there is a scene in the original movie where a guy gets his penis bitten off by a woman (which is horrible but is appropriate for its context). This scene is replaced by the same guy getting his hand mutilated in a sink trash disposal pipe. While in the original is truly painful, the current version is all about pointless blood. First move: chainsaw, this movie: hammer and knives are the best they could find.

My Rating: total waste of time; 2 out of 10. A cup of water has more dept. Only for the blood and gore lovers of today. RATED: R for sadistic brutal violence including a rape and disturbing images, language, nudity and some drug use but still weak compared to the original.

by owen () make a comment

Knight and Day Movie review (Movies)

2010-07-05 11:23:48

Cameron Diaz does her usual laugh and smile and Tom Cruise does his crazy impossible action. It feels like Mission 3, well worth the money even though Miss diaz just smiles alot. My rating 8 of 10. Plus I have heard reports that the last air bender sucks.

by owen () make a comment

The Book Of Eli Review (Movies)

2010-01-30 14:54:51

I'm usually apprehensive towards watching Denzel Washington's movies he plays the same role over and over again. I bet you could cut 10 of his movies together into one movie and you would not beable to tell the difference. But I watched this one anyway because it was either this or Legion. You are probably wondering why he is doing a movie in which he kills people with a machete but by 20 minutes into the movie you will see why. Better titled: The revenge of the Librarian.

The movie starts out with the usual guy in the desert. He soon finds a place to hold up for the night, fresh pussy on the fire, and pulls out his ipod and start jamming to some Marvin Gaye. I can never understand how the barren wastelands he finds the time to charge his ipod and keep his designer sun glasses clean.

Maybe its a bias I have to wards these kinda movies but I can never understand how people can't find water to drink but they never run out of bullets for their guns. Their always seem to be a infinite supply of bullets and cigars. I can never understand.

Little things aside, Denzel is traveling west and kicks some ass along the way, a couple heart pounding actions scenes and quotes from the "Book". The movie is good all the way up until the end where the "twist" happens and left me with a "wtf" look on my face. Not a bad movie, kinda illogical but well written, 7 out of 10. Watch it when it comes out on cable.

by owen () make a comment