owenSoft.net - Blog Jamaica

Mi Claro (Blog Jamaica)

2008-11-09 13:46:40

Now comes Claro/Miphone rebranding which is mostly forced by the new owner. A rebrand to red which is a color already used by a competitor may work in their favour except I'm not sure about the red Claro balls that they've been putting up on signs in Kingston.

I hope they release the iphone service soon but I don't want to go through process of changing my number.

So for Claro there is only one way to go which is up.

by owen comment

Lime and Wireless (Blog Jamaica)

2008-11-08 19:56:18

So cable and wireless saw it prudent to rebrand instead of giving people cheaper rates and better services. Its a move that can only be described as "if the world gives you lemonade - make limes". I can't imagine the millions of dollars that are being wasted to re-paint all those white walls. I can however imagine the hundreds of vandalists waiting in the shadows ready to scratch out that "I" and replace it with a "A" at the very first opportunity.

On the flip side though, the new staff shirts are a cool black with neon green trimings - heaven knows who I'm going to have to screw over to get one of those. It will catch on sooner or later whether it will make a difference is another story. Now I'm not always the harbinger of doom. If you throw enough money and time at anything, sonner or later something will come of it.

by owen comment

Speed Kills (Blog Jamaica)

2008-10-20 10:37:17

by owen comment

A Beggars Paradise (Blog Jamaica)

2008-09-16 15:43:41

Now I often end up at places against my will because I'm not driving anymore. People who drive tend to lie when you ask them how long the "little detour" is going to take. Before I notice it I usually end up half the way across Kingston in a bad side of town. Other times somebody will spot the elusive mechanic that has no cellphone and proceed to convene a meeting or solve a quadratic equation.

On this occasion someone HAD TO HAVE their prescription filled at 10o'clock in the night. York Pharmacy had apparently run out of pills for that particular MENTAL CONDITION so established rules had to be broken. At this point in our little story is where the detour began like a headache brought on by dry erasable markers. By the time we reached Liguanea I had lost track of the time, accepting my fate, contemplating possible roots of escape at this god forsaken hour.

There was a pharmacy, somewhere there, not sure exactly but the parking space was slightly inclined in front of the entrance, so you had to park facing outward - I couldn't see the drug deal taking place inside. I waited, keeping my eye on the local car washer/general idler (its hard to tell nowadays, I try not to judge people by the bucket they carry, could have been salt beef or mutton). On my left were empty parking lots and on right where four (4) cars. A woman in a small SUV came stopped in front, constantly brushing her hair back with her hand while looking in to the rare view mirror. Apparently she was waiting for someone to come out of the pharmacy, a hot date or something and she wanted to look proper. At this point I realized that I had left downtown and had ended up in "North Coast Kingston".

After about 10 minutes of watching the woman adjust her frilly hair with no apparent effect, I virtually gave up on trying to decipher what she was trying to achieve. It was at this point I noticed a woman siting 2 cars away from me in a silver car - an old Lancer. I came to know her as Marlene (or I may have forgotten her name ). She was 40 plus black woman with a unusual foreign accent, lived somewhere in Spanish Town, had just brought her father to the hospital and had the ability to talk. Had I known I probably would not have talked to her in the first place but its hard to avoid people who are in your direct line of site.

10 minutes go by. Apparently Marlene had just recently left her house to rush her dad to the hospital and in "haste" forgot to bring gas money with her so she is sitting in the parking lot awaiting for a "Good Samaritan" to help her out. It was all too suspicious. I wished her luck and proceeded to derail the conversation by talking about religion and faith - I was not in the good Samaritan mood tonight - it seemed all too convenient - especially since I offered her 200 and she said she needed more like 300 so to reduce the chance that she would run out of gas in a "bad area" on the way home. I wished her luck again. I couldn't go anywhere and she had already been there for a couple hours (so she said). I was trapped.

We talked about money and problems and her husband in England. She was far to intelligent, the longer I stayed they the greater the chance I would break. I meet a large amount of random interesting people, often only once, like a paper plane, never in the same place or time. I began to contemplate how profitable her little business venture would be - it was too genius - find a mall, late at night, somewhere uptown, park, wait for them to initiate intercourse, hustle unsuspecting dudes for gas money - I wonder if she has a pimp? hmm. I even began to doubt myself - she was too calm, collected, sure of herself like a brick house - I had to leave ASAP. A couple minutes later I told her that I hope her good Samaritan comes along, waved good bye to her. I have come to no conclusion.

by owen comment

1, 2, 3, 4 sweep in 100m in Belgium (Blog Jamaica)

2008-09-05 15:12:56

Seems evident that no matter were those 2 are everybody will try to avoid the fireworks. I just happen to decide to eat fast food for lunch. Deciding to buy the same thing somewhere else. Not remembering about a race that was about to happen at 1:25 pm. I had over heard my co-workers calculate the global time difference between Jamaica and Brussels, Belgium.

It seems divine intervention place me in direct view of the television as I sat down to eat in front of a woman with a bad weave. I looked up at the television and saw them introducing the athletes. At the same time I remembered about the race.

I looked around and nobody seemed to notice that the race was about to start. As soon as I motioned to the hairdicaped woman that the race was about to start it seem that collective consciousness of the all the people in the general area swarm into the food court.

I had to be directing people no to block my view of the television. What was once a empty lobby had become a school of onlookers. I hope the race would start soon but apparently EVERYBODY knew about it. It was like the Olympics all over again. Eventually it started; Powell in front, Bolt catches and passes, the entire building ca lapses. It was 9.77 seconds of pure bueaty. It was only after the fact that we had noticed that Jamaica won all 3 medals and came in 4 and 8 just to make sure. I'm almost positive another Jamaican won a gold medal in the hurdles but by then everybody had disbursed. Seems that the Bolt-Powell combination over shadows all.

Either way Jamaica "Going On".

2 di weeeerrrrlll!

by owen comment

the devil finds work for idle hands (Blog Jamaica)

2008-08-27 10:53:44

After yesterday's question somebody in the government decided to start hyping Gustav (the clouds over Haiti) as a hurricane. I hear people buying up groceries and battening down windows. Dem clouds been over there for like a week. You'd think people know what a hurricane looks like by now.

I hope the OUR is looking into those JPS billing problems as of recent.

So back to the issue of yesterday's question. I propose we capture Haiti. We'll call it New Jamaica. Even though my technical advisors are not in agreement with my brilliant plan, a bigger island would allow us to do "big island stuff" and work on the whole "brand Jamaica" thing. Cuba is out of the question - too many issues, too many issues. All in favour say yay.

by owen comment

An entire nation screams noooo! (Blog Jamaica)

2008-08-22 09:32:20

As shock ripped through the island like bad case of heart burn. It had seemed like a sure win. If I had a video camera shown the sound of silent shock that ripped through the face of the audience as the announcer continued after stating "Jamaica has lost". Its like having your cake and getting a free one which you proceed to drop in a river.

People set out for the work day dress in the black, green and GOLD colors of the national flag tears of disappointment ran down their faces. Many wagonists blamed it on not having fresh legs in the event. But the difficulty in relays is not only the running but the passing of the baton. USA never drop the baton 2 times simply because dem salt. Its actually hard.

Hopefully this doesn't happen in the men's 4x100 final. As Asafa Powell is already having a bad day. A bad ending to the whole thing would only put a dark shadow on what has been achieved in the Olympics so far.

Update

Well done Team Jamaica. To di weeerrrrllll!!!

by owen comment

Olympic Fever (Blog Jamaica)

2008-08-20 11:23:42

Strangely I managed to reach Downtown just before the race began. Or should I say unfortunately. All you could see is people running from buses trying to get to work or better yet find a television to watch the race. I can't remember the last time a Jamaica was some high on Olympic fever or any fever at all. Nutten else naw gwan.

As I walked by the fast food establishment with a open lobby, a mob of people watching the 20" television mounted on the wall. The murmur in the lobby was deafening. One of the attendants took the remote and pointed it at the television and a woman at the corner shouted "him ago lack it offf!" and a man at the other corner replied "lack off what?".

I continued on, when I noticed an unusually high flag to person ratio. It seemed like the flags were manufactured over night. I don't know where so many flags came from - all of a sudden. People driving and waving flags. It was like election day all over again. Babies with flags, grown ass men with flags, flags on buses, flags on cars - it was like a parade. I could have gotten a couple nice picture but I was without camera - curses.

By 9:15 the entire downtown area was shut down, everything stopped moving as if the meaning of life was about to be broadcasted. The nearest television in walking distance was in danger of being mobbed by onlookers eagerly awaiting the start of the race. My hopes at arriving under the cover of the race were destroyed as silence covered the land and then a uproar of cheers as the race began. GOOOOLDDD!!!!

I could bearly hear the radio being played beside me as I saw people running out of the varity store in front of me. Jumping up and down like Shelly-ann Fraser when she won her race. In fact it seemed as if EVERYBODY had just won the gold medal in a Olympic event - di whole nation tun athlete. A man selling small $50 flags could bearly get the flags out of the plastic fast enough - "mi want di one wid di gold pon di top" said one lady.

As I made my way through kingston, every car either had someone waving a flag or was constantly blowing their horns. It had reached a fever pitch. You could borrow a Nanny from a beggar on the street. By the time I arrived the entire staff compliment was glued to the television jumping up and down like they had just one the lottery. Even the security at the door was gone.

Jamaica to di werld!!!

For the latest secret info make sure to check out the news section.

by owen comment

CSI Jamaica (Blog Jamaica)

2008-07-17 20:24:33

Well I like anybody else that lives in this day and age have nothing against the random sex tapes and explicit pictures of people that get emailed about the place like hot bread. I have to admit that I at times have gone in search of said content if only to say that I had seen it - I don't know maybe its a certain voyeuristic tendancy in us human beings. BUT I HAVE TO DRAW THE DAM LINE SOMEWHERE!

Now Jamaican people tek it to another level. This morning I get a email in my inbox of the victim of the accident that happen in half way tree. I'm sure you all know the accident I'm talking about - its the one where the pregnant news paper seller got hit by a runaway truck. Now whomever took these pictures must have been a CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATOR OR SOMETHING. THE PHOTOS WERE THAT DETAILED. HIGH QUALITY. I could make a post card. By the time I got there the body was already cover up but in the pictures the body look like it still warm. But as you can see from my picture above I stare from the crime scene. I am not into the live action ting when it comes to Grind House.

I even hear that there is video of it as well. Unnu no have nutten fido wid unnu cellphone? tek some picture of some flowers or people in compromising situations. Why you gots to be up in all the grizzleness? All I have to say is hats off to the photographer - you HAAAARRRRAAAD CCOOOORRREE. Taylor is you?

by owen comment

Downtown (Blog Jamaica)

2008-04-16 16:27:49

Its different thats all I'm going to say.

by owen comment

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (Blog Jamaica)

2008-03-30 21:05:29

People often ask what is going on in dancehall; whats up with the "hump dance"?; who comes up with these things? Its a lot less organic than you think, it more like back in the 80's Micheal Jaskson "Bad". When guys would pill out knives, form a circle and try to dance each other to death. Each trying to "out-do" the other. It kinda like that but less sexually prejudice. The humpdance brings women into the picture. There is alot of substance to it and it changes quickly and slowly at the same time without reason.

The randomness of it can be a little jaring to foreigners (and normal jamaicans) but the creativity of the Jamaican people is endless even when not under the influence of controlled substance. It could all stop next year and we could bring back the "cent-5cent-10cent-dalla" dance. But in dancehall culture nothing "makes a comeback", nowadays everything must have a new riddim, dance, slang and handshake. Its a fact of life; some people dance, some stand on the sidelines and others wait until the PG version gets released to the public. It may not catch on in the USA but who cares the chinese dig it.

by owen comment

Every now and then... (Blog Jamaica)

2008-02-07 22:53:39

God sends rabid dogs to your house to quietly knock over your garbage can in the middle of the night. Or maybe its a rolling calf hmmm....

by owen comment

2007 in review (Blog Jamaica)

2008-01-06 11:41:35

Didn't have as many huricanes as promised. A slew of murders towards the end of the year. JLP won. Cashplus brought to light the fact that banks are money loving bastards and pretty soon gold will be the recommended way of saving your money. Even none commercial banks have started charging transaction fees under the quiet. Sooner thatn later they will have scanners in the doors that charge you everytime you walk into the bank office - double if you try to look the teller. more later

by owen comment

November 2007 (Blog Jamaica)

2007-11-18 09:38:32

A couple double murders this week. The US dollar is selling at 71.33. Cable and wireless has a new directory cover. Crying, scrap mental and light bulbs.

by owen comment

Back to school (Blog Jamaica)

2007-09-12 06:19:33

So elections are done, summer is done, slight chance of at least one more hurricane, now for the traffic.

by owen comment