owenSoft.net - Logbook

Leave My Body (Logbook)

2012-01-20 19:47:03

In an instant I look over and I see an old woman judging me based on the muffins I have in my basket at the supermarket. Its seems impossible to go anywhere in society today without being judged. Just because I forgot to pick up two pound of flour, sugar, a stick of butter and a bottle of white rum - it just not give you the right to judge me!

School definitely teaches you something, but it does not teach you how to love. If you do not love something and you plan to go to school so that you can learn to love it and be good at it then you may be disappointed in the end. Love is what we need. If you love to cook, go to cooking school, you have cooks that make tons of money. Find something to love then find a school. Pay for it in cash or work a couple years as a intern at any company that will take you. Stay away from drugs.

I have work to do. I do not think there was ever a time when I was free of work since maybe high school and even then there would be points when the holiday could not come soon enough. If I am lucky will I will find a way to reduce the contrast between the parts of work that are fun and the parts that exist to torment my soul.

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Hotta Fire (Logbook)

2012-01-13 07:16:52

The year has passed so quickly and the amount of people that died was astronomical. Not to mention the fact that the grinch stole christmas. I feel like I had just found a big piece of tomato in a little sandwich and it so big that I have to pick it out and throw it way out of utter disgust. If you start the war - how is it going to stop?

I forgot to do a christmas post. Christmas was a hectic time and I had to driving people around like a monkey on a safari in the north pole. It the beginning of a new year and something has managed to change ever so slightly to the point where I get annoyed. Annoyances is apart of life like taxes but do not let them get the best of you - tomorrow is another day.

This year is either going to be the best year ever or total apocalypse. Usually I don't mind odds like that but I have watched enough movies to know when things just look strange and music starts playing and monkeys start throwing shit that I need to map out the location of the nears cave and keep rations under my bed. I need to invest in a solar power microwave oven.

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Niggas in Paris (Logbook)

2011-12-13 14:02:52

My Christmas done gone disrupted to the point where i just want to curl up into a ball and hibernate like a bear or a honey badger. Now that I am older and considerably more hairy, sleeping for long periods of time is most comforting, I'm trying to survive the silly season without getting another speeding ticket from a policeman hiding in the bushes. Like thieves. I mean its the middle of the DAY! I still young, I ain't had no kids, why you gotta be pushing me man? why you gotta be pushing me?

Did I mention that its cold? So cold that I wish I had breasts, lovely breasts. Can't tell me nothing. I need as much fat as I can get because my skinny frame cannot take these cold floors and cold hearts much longer, I NEED LOVE! More than I could give. The Lion King was a great movie, I stopped watching cartoons after that, what more could you need? Cruel, cruel world. If it makes you happy then why you so sad?

It started raining so bad last week that I thought all the politicians would drown but alas that was not the case. Why God why? It was all good until a week ago. Don't worry I noticed I have alot of question marks in this but I can't help it - I was kinda haphazardly writing this for the past week, in between naps, trying to ward off the unset of flu. Cherish the day. Everyday is Christmas and every night a New Years Eve.

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Video Games (Logbook)

2011-11-28 14:04:53

Sometimes I wait until it gets really overcast and then I leave the office for lunch. If I am lucky it would rain so hard that a river would form in the street in front of the building. A good rain would produce enough water that only a twelve year old would be brave enough to cross it and not reach St Thomas Pond. If that doesn't work there is always the chance of a freak storm to soothe the soul.

A local fast food establishment has started making smaller cups for their "all you can drink" locations. It is not immediately noticeable like the time they tried to make bigger ice cubes and the machine would just jam up all the time. This time the cups are tall but slightly thinner. I presume they have been slowly slimming them down over a period of years. They are either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid. But I am glad they are playing an active role in encouraging people to exercise. Too bad the soda is watered down as well.

Continuing on my path of self discovery, I find that there has been a rampant increase in slavery. Slavery is everywhere. Slavery is like a women with big batty is a trouble to a man. There are no two ways about it. Problems are everywhere and it seems everybody has an alternate agenda to everything they are selling. Everything is a popularity contest between someone or someone like you.

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Aisle 10 (Logbook)

2011-11-07 20:13:20

I realize that I will only feel this way for a small period of time, big dreams, gangster. Break, I will love you till the end of time, probably a million years. I prefer to stand in the open space and watch the waves bob and sway. Each one different from the other but the same as the next. Everything works out in the end.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just gets transferred from one form to another like bad fashion - the 80s are never coming back. The bigger the vehicle the more energy it needs to go - its simple laws of physics. Some of this energy has got to lost somewhere.

I took 5 days vacation from work to find myself and what I found was that life is but a series of experiences and sitting in a large groups of people until your legs fall asleep. Fun times. The bank lady said that credit cards are a good thing to have - lol - at the same time she tried to sell me a loan to pay off an existing car loan. Its a dog eat dog world.

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Blue Jeans (Logbook)

2011-10-27 10:05:54

Recently I have been on a path of self discovery, like driving the wrong way down a one-way street and getting stopped by the police for speeding. Goddamn speed traps are everywhere. I hope they use my contribution to nation building for good and not for an early election. Either way you never know where that money goes, its like a wild bear in a forest, roaming around, defecating on your microphone.

I missed my usual morning glass of hard liquor this morning, I must have run out, yet again. It is funny how the things you love the most will slowly but surely kill you. There are things are more important than your habitual need to jerk it off while living out your childhood dream. At some point you just have to go cold turkey and hope that no one notices that you are not the same as you were yesterday. Its the freak en weekend. I will drink to that.

I often walk up to the awful fast food restaurant for lunch, not because I enjoy putting myself in mortal danger but because I try not to be the same. I think there is something to be gained from sitting in a room full of strangers who like to eat bad food. There is also the added benefit of seeing grown women pop their breasts out to feed their 4 year old baby - I am not sure that at that age you can call the child a baby anymore. These fries taste as if they are under cooked, still its not that bad because a some of them are burnt.

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On My Level (Logbook)

2011-10-18 15:17:42

True freedom can only come from understanding one's self. You will find life much simpler once you figure out the kind of monster that you have become. Sometimes I will sit and watch people walk by at lunchtime and I would try to imagine what they are looking forward to, what numbers they played in the lotto, and where they would rather be at this very moment in time. The men are clearly hungry, the children want to go home and play, the old woman is deep in thought as she carefully sips her soup. The women want a longer walkway so their hips can be fully appreciated. Its a mixed bag. Your differences make you special.

Of course there are the odd few lurking in the shadows, biding their time and planning their escape. I am sure what they want, my best guess is that if they could they would build a fence around the building so that everybody would be trapped inside, walking around in and infinite loop. It makes perfect sense. Sometimes desire is its own master.

My lunch time is over and though I have things to do and people to see - I have to break my own rules like a monkey. Plus I have to finish writing, if I leave now, I may lose the moment, my future words may be muddied by shifting tides and swaying hips. I have capture the moment in words before they turn into memories. Stop.

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Young Folks (Logbook)

2011-10-10 15:05:39

Around here the weeks seem to get shorter and shorter like the first graders in high school. In fact the time seems to fly by as I get taller and older waiting for my chicken sandwich at Island Grill. Truth of the matter is that the time is constant, my fries just get cold if I don't eat them fast enough. The catch with that is if you eat too fast you might bite your tongue.

I hate - is a strong word - receptionists and information desks. The people, not the actual desks - I love desks, chairs and puppies. Receptionists on the other hand has a mandate to be rid of you as soon as possible. It would not be so bad if they were actually giving me the information that I needed but instead of trying to send me somewhere else without giving me any warnings about the death traps that lay before me. I instantly assume that the person in front of me is a idiot placed on this earth to troll innocent people and spoil my day.

I need to get my car painted soon. My attempt to acquire sponsorship for a gigantic sticker proved fruitless and expensive. The information desk was of no help. Can not get no satisfaction. Having a car with a peculiar colour further amplified my problems. Emerald blue pearl turns out to be a magical mix of colors and getting it to match seemlessly with the rest of the car may prove to be tricky. At the going rate I would go broke if I repainted the entire car. Bueaty is skin deep. They cannot love you like I love you.

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Short change hero (Logbook)

2011-09-26 16:43:08

So far September has been a ridiculously expensive month. Upon joining the cult of the blackberry it seems like there is no end to the madness. Out of curiosity I added a local TV show to my contact list and they proceded to barage me with broadcast messages about events and giveaways - it seemed as if there was a 24 hour party going on somewhere that I did not know about.

I spent all of last weekend playing with myself in the hopes that I would not have to spend any more money. The modern lifestyle seems to be wrapped in a cycle of debt and expenses. I switched to the Discovery Channel and noted that lions are the most boring animals on television, except maybe the twins on TeachasPet. All they do is sit around and wait for something that they can catch and eat - they don't even cook it first. They must be able to save tons of money.

Politics, what can I say about it? 29% is crazy for the condition of the roads that I have to drive on in the mornings. Which reminds me I have to pay my toll charges so I can drive on Highway2000. Think of it as a bus fare for cars. Or maybe a car-fare for people. At this rate I will have to draw for the nearly $200 worth of loose change I have been collecting in my desk for the times when co-workers try to pressure me into contributing to pointless fund-raisers put on by the schools of their kids, kids of their schools OR schools of their churchs. This ain't no place for no hero. To go home.

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I'm Not Calling You A Liar (Logbook)

2011-09-02 14:00:00

Facebook is like the new planet of the apes movie. Tons of people will still like it, even though its nothing but pointless tripe. It is the same problem, trying to convert millions of people to watch Hanna (which is a much better movie IMHO ) by saying that Hanna is better than a movie full of CGI monkeys is not going to work. Real change only happens at the most basic level down to the very core of the soul of the individual. Aside from that nothing will ever change and you have no no other choice but to watch and laugh and try not to get accidentally killed by the ignorance that you must endure. Hell is other people.

Some particular songs you often find yourself singing in the in bathroom, make absolutely no sense. It is often just a sequence of notes and sounds organised in way that you brain seems to enjoy repeating over and over. I am not sure why, the dog days are over. It is not often obvious why some people like one thing and others like something else, or why a large amount of people have no opinion on anything at all. It is almost like they are sheep being lead to pasture, eating the same grass every day with no hope of chicken.

I find it annoying if you have no opinion or perspective on anything, just going along with the flow of what everybody else is doing, living off borrowed opinions and projected memories seen through the window of a glass house that is moving ever so slowly in front you. One day someone will kick you in the nuts.

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In Love with Wax (Logbook)

2011-08-12 08:34:50

A people with a LOT of money have invested in some pretty mediocre things that often get replaced in a year or two. The amount if money invested and the amount of lines of code and time invested in a over engineered stack of cluster fuck features has never been a measure of what I would consider "quality". Some times you have be willing to jump from the wagon, or go against the grade. There is a common misconception that the tool you use is somehow will guarantee you success but such is not the case. A competent man can kill just as well with a knife as with a gun. In fact even a incompetent has the potential to be all he can be given the right or wrong hammer depending on how far your are from the epicentre of the catastrophe.

All tools suck in their own way. Some in more ways than one. It is a given reality is software today, yesterday and for the foreseeable future. It is always a guessing game when it comes to testing and evaluation. The question usually relates to either trying to solve a problem, as opposed to following the crowd. Or to rephrase; Its a question of whether to solve a particular problem with custom code or do I throw a tool at it and hope it sticks long enough for me pay my bills.

In any and everything (including software and monkeys) people will divide into groups. We are all fanbois of something or the other. Anybody who says they are not a fanboi is lieing or will most likely turn out to be a spy for the other-side. Money talks and you either run out or you stay gassed up. There is no magic solution. There will always be the Windows versus Apple versus Linux crowd, The SAP verus Oracle versus IBM versus Microsoft crowd. The key is sticking to your path, and reaching your milestones as quickly as possible. Commitment and a clear vision is absolutely necessary. Humans by nature are fickle creatures, sometimes far sited, sometimes focusing on the current ignorant to future gains that will be made by short term suffering. Hold your head and soldier on, eventually they'll get it.

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Rocketman (Logbook)

2011-08-02 07:16:33

Every now and again something goes wrong in the universe and you have to work on the weekend. Even after careful preparation and taping all the wires theres bound to be something that goes horribly wrong, the planets will align against you causing the inevitable collapse of everything into a spiralling black hole of wasted effort. At times like these you have no choice but to experiment with your chicken sandwich and put plantains in it - I love plantains. I took a picture. I will post it later.

In other news : hard times are getting harder. Gas prices are through the roof. People are losing thier heads. I passed a woman parked pecuriously on the inside of a fast turn on the highway. Usually I would proceed to blow my horn as I passed but that only came as a after thought. I zoomed by her at the speed limit and I could barely see inside the car. I am not sure if she was dead or her Mitsubishi Lancer had just ran out of gas. I thought about it for about 10 minutes on my ride home. My mind trying to calculate the possibility of me turning back around and checking if she was ok. I forgot about it eventually.

Its another independence day and I've yet to make it to ATI and its not getting any cheaper to produce hurricanes early enough in the season to kill them all but still there is always the possibility of a out break of dengae fever. It must have been a long weekend because my beard sprung up like a wild bush. I hate to go to work like this and have them find out that I am not the man they think I am at home. But I'm a rocketman burning out his fuse, they would find out sometime.

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The big bright green pleasure machine (Logbook)

2011-06-15 17:04:25

The funny thing about getting older is your ability to look at things outside of yourself with a sort of cock-eyed pessimism. I'm not sure if it is the same for everyone. But I have this new found sense of scoope when it comes to certain things that used to puzzle me when I was younger. Now these things are measured on in there ability to cause me never-ending pain. As opposed to when I was younger there was always a potentional to be exponenially happier than I was at the moment. I feel as if I'm heading towards a higher level of singularity. Or maybe I'm losing some marbles. Eitherway I have clearly passed one tipping point or tripped over another.

I still like video games however, and chicken - cannot get tired of the chicken. I hope to one day achieve my wings and fly to heaven or better yet get drunk off cafiene and fly to Barbados. Blew up from the ground like NASA. Like a buttery. The view outside the glass house is very different from the inside, even though you are seeing the same thing; everything is less cloudy from be refracted by the glass. Duke Nuken Forever is coming out finally.

I usually avoid taking money for projects before I complete them but this was a special case. I wonder if I should buy a new television or an expensive cellphone. There are so many facinating things that are waiting for better batteries. My electricity bill is through the roof. I probably should invest in some solar panels but it has been raining none stop for the past 10 days.

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Rolling In The Deep (Logbook)

2011-05-19 10:19:00

I thought I would write one last blog entry out to the press before the world comes to an end. Nothing worst than leaving my readers and fan club on the limb without a last will and testament. I love you all, except the ugly people, no body is perfect. I always wondered why disabled people look disabled or more so awestruck. It is bad enough that you as disabled in some way but you have to look disabled too? Why can't disabled people look like fashion models? Life is not fair. Be thankful for who you are, count your blessings and not your problems.

I spent most of last night ranking up in COD:WAW online. Yes, I know it is a dam old game from 2008 but I sworn off buying any more games until I finish the ones I have. Anyway, nothing really happens in the game besides me playing the same 4 or 5 stages over and over again while getting shot in different places on the map, by different people I cannot see or hear. There is some mild enjoyment there, similar to that of a crack addict getting his latest hit - no offence to the female crack addicts out there. I would not say that on-line multi player is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME but do I really have to waste a whole day of my life just to get the scope attachment for my machine gun? Even porn is more productive.

Stephanie does not like plantain tarts, I'm not sharing any of my guilty pleasures with her again. Some people are so ungrateful. I don't know, why does the whole world have to come to a end? Its been around a long TIME! I'm always been fascinated with the human race's ability to NOT COLLECTIVE CARE ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL. I think it is one of our strongest attributes. I mean if the trees disappear all the birds will be like "WTF HAPPEN TO THE TREES???!!!". But half the human race will be wondering why they can't get any paper anywhere, 30% will be busy trying to grow trees in space and the other 20% will be saying; "hey, what's for lunch?".

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Why don't you do right (Logbook)

2011-05-06 15:56:35

I know I have been posting nothing but Food pictures lately. I happen to get into these self destructive habits where I find something cool and I just keep doing it, like a monkey, until I get bored or I have exhausted all possible permutations of the problem. I hate calculus 2 though, that stuff is evil. I find something interesting and I will gnaw at it until there is nothing left - I'm not obsessive, I just like having a river to swim in.

I said I was going to redesign the website, I will get to it eventually, I have been working on secret stuff for other people so that I can get more money cuz I need more drugs. Added to the fact that I have been building a game for the past 3 months. The game does not contribute to my need for drugs, it contributes to my asexual tendency/need to play with myself. I try to balance things out or maybe I am just avoiding the problem of world hunger and cold fusion. I donot know.

I will get back on track eventually, one way or the other. I imagine that if I take enough naps in a day, drink 8 glasses of water - I should eventually get so tired that I will get up and do something. I am half way there. What is life without a series of unpredictable annoyances? Anyway I only have a few more food pictures left. And if all goes well and the world doesn't kill me I will fall right in sync with the rhythm of nature.

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