owenSoft.net - Logbook http://owensoft.net/ Odes to my coy mistress. Metaphysical poetry updated weekly. en http://owensoft.net http://owensoft.net/favicon.png owenSoft.net http://owensoft.net/ http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/ Such Great Hieghts (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/ <p>Cars are constantly moving towards chaos like sand on a beach. No matter how much you wash them or take care of them they are slowly trying to separate into little pieces. Right now I have break disc wobble and I will either have to get the disks skimmed or replaced. Maintenance is something that will always be necessary unless you can afford to buy a new car every few years.</p><p>Human beings are very short sited by nature. Naturally. I myself will choose (more times than not) short term dis-satisfaction over long ambiguity. Cause nothing really last forever. Whether it be good or bad, the pendulum always swings because it has to. There is no other way. Riding the breaks. You have to give up some things to live. And everything you get takes away something else. Whether you know it or not we are not special, we are not machines. No one is perfect. Today, right now is both the best days and the worst of days and only for a time and forever.</p><p>So this is where I am. For the first time in a long time I am going to have to work through Christmas. Things change I guess. I am off schedule and have probably lost my way. But you gots to do what you gots to do. After all in the end the only things that matter are the things you give away.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2419/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sat, 25 Nov 2017 22:50:02 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/ Poker (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/ <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/"><img src="http://owensoft.net/v4/photo/thumb/2487.jpg" /></a><p>The game of poker. One that requires skill, strategy and the very important ability to give no signs of what hand you have been dealt. The making of the poker face, perfected out of necessity in a personal and professional war room. It serves so many purposes, I could go on and on. Frankly I hate it. I’ve always thought the greatest thing on the planet is to truly express every thing as you feel it. But alas everything must be carefully planned and executed on time with the right resources and never letting your opponent ever have clue about anything until the very moment.</p><p>Done so easily and without thought. The display of blankness leaving your opponent completely clueless and at your knees. Waiting….. Waiting….. For your carefully planned flick of a switch. Human robotics.</p><p>Why? It’s safeguard and great safe-fail, designed to have minimal disruption or harm in the event of a failure. And of course you sit and watch the play for failure so very often. All the while knowing that this long game of strategy for which you’re fully equipped to wait it out. But there is hardly a win and failing fast is the least painful. A quick brush and a forgotten bruise. Taking too long to fail leads to painful consequences. But there must be a win. Why play the game if there isn’t. Like the lottery, when you win it’s big.</p><p>So I step out on to a new planet, leaving the suit and armor on earth where it belongs. It has no place here. Everything is done in reverse except for that well served play that’s non-negotiable.</p><p>There is an enormous knot in the pit of the stomach, sometimes leading to immense joy and at other times a nervousness born out of vulnerability. A quandary that only happens to the exposed. No poker face? Naked!</p> <p><strong>by DLBG</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2416/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 22 Nov 2017 05:55:28 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/ Beautiful Words (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/ <p>There is something magical about words and their ability to convey deep meaning, affection and everything that affects the human race. Nicely packaged or rawly thrown. That’s not a real world by the way but yet that’s the wonderful part. New words are made everyday.</p><p>I tried it. I went out naked in the sea. Lightening struck, it was beautiful but I could see the danger lurking beneath its beautiful waves. Amazing power and prowess. So easy to lose yourself in its glow. Get dressed, you can’t be out here naked. You’ll get hurt like you’ve never been before.</p><p>I put on my dress and armor and look at its delightful glow from a distance, loving it so deeply but never forgetting its power.</p> <p><strong>by DLBG</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2417/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 22 Nov 2017 05:55:28 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/ Love is like Oxygen (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/ <p>It is the things that you want that get you into the most trouble. I may have said this before, I cannot remember because I have been slacking off on my writing, stretched thin is a forest with tall trees. Maybe I should regroup but then that is probably something I want rather than a move that I necessary &quot;need&quot; to make. There is not winning no matter what you do. Balancing the struggle is increasingly difficult. You have to let somethings go in order to live and more over you never know what vice is going to bring you to an early grave.</p><p>There are disadvantages to everything under the sun. Choosing to focus only on the positives is really a choice left up to the individual involved. Living in a dream world is totally up to personal preference. It does not affect reality. Determination can get you some of the way but no one knows for sure what will take you the last 50% of the journey. The bus has already left the station. Whatever makes you sleep well at night. The only way to make a true calculation of risk is to be able to remember both sides of the coin or not play at all. Worrying about things out of your control is a waste of time.</p><p>Either way birds and reptiles are different fundamentally as long as the rules of the world stays the same. If you are gonna try to change the world you might as well go big and change the whole world instead of just a few little things that you currently find fascinating. If you really want to play the stock market game you have to have a lot of expendable liquid income. Otherwise you are not going to get far.</p><p></p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2404/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Fri, 03 Nov 2017 19:43:32 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/ Bang bang bang (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/ <p>Everybody needs a hobby. In a world with so much to do its not surprising that people will gravitate to anything in order to past the time like a rouge asteroid flying through space only to become entangled by a star. We all need something to love. Most people do not even realise the hobby that they have and most other people could care less. Eventually everyone comes to terms with what is real as opposed to what they dream about or what they hope for.</p><p>The depth and circumference of our &quot;worlds&quot; vary from time to time just like our hobbies. Who can really know what you are thinking about right at this moment or tomorrow? Everyone spends thier time creating little worlds in which they live. Sometimes we exist in other people&#039;s worlds. Sometimes worlds spiral around each other in a delicate balance. Other times worlds collide and destroy each other forever.</p><p>It has all been done before - everything. The only thing you can hope to achieve is that knowledge that you had some fun. Because you never know. Tomorrow you might become a different person with different hobbies, living in a different world and the things you once hold dear will be gone away.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2391/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 09 Aug 2017 15:45:21 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/ Summer Snow (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/ <p>The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all. Everyone is secretly hoping they win the lottery in one way or the other. There is a hidden need or want for something inside of everyone. If its a need or a want is always the point of confusion. I just want to get through the day without hydroplaning into an unmovable object at 110 kmph. Life is all about physics - I have said this before. You are here, we are here until we are not. No use talking about what you plan to do next year when there are perfectly good things to talk about right now - in this instant. Hold your breath and feel the pressure build up inside you chest.</p><p>I was programming some stuff which I do for work until I came upon a problem that I could not solve by just being clever. These problems are the worse kind because I know I am no good and my limits are as clear as a brand new glass windows. The sun in the sky knows how I feel. I stare blankly at the wall hoping that a stroke of genius will free me from ignorance. I might have to just leave the problem and move until something else. Why stress yourself out?</p><p>Somethings I just have to avoid completely for my own sanity. I can - not - deal with - not even - one more addiction. I wont take your expensive fish fry ticket not because I do not like fish or do not want to support your meaningless cause but I can see far down the road and I am not about that life of suffering. Delayed suffering is pretty much the worse things you can do to someone. Good intentions aside I would rather say no right now that supper the disappointment which is certain to come down the road. Of course you have to spend you time doing something.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2388/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 12 Jul 2017 15:27:56 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/ Only the strong survive (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/ <p>There are some who would rather be loved, needed and depended on to give a love they cannot give. Than for them to be lonely. I just want‎ my days to go by easily. The world is filled with too much stress. There is no sense in creating mini struggles within ourselves. Though some might find it entertaining but I would rather watch the wind blow the leaves around than be a leaf blowing in the wind. Chaos is only fun while you have the strength to fight it.</p><p>I bought some CDs from a man selling used stuff by the side of the road - Music CDs. When buying anything used in Jamaica you have to wonder if they were stolen from someone with awful taste in music. They were cheap so I bought a couple that had the least scratches that could find. Old music CDs are like finding old pants that still fit; you know you shouldn&#039;t be wearing them but they will never let you down.</p><p>I bought a really expensive appliance recently because I became passionate about getting something good (watching online videos, doing research) as opposed to getting something affordable and common. I become annoyingly passionate about stuff at times but I get through most time, sometimes not. I have to pump my brakes because I fear that my passions are a ship made only to crash upon the rocks of disappointment. But I push through because when it comes down to it without fear, experience, drive and passion there is nothing. Bueaty and Nonsense.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2386/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sun, 02 Jul 2017 17:21:28 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/ Dead Disco (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/ <p>I am churning through the year - words have become hard. 2 months so far and I am not even sure the year has even started. Well make that 4 months and another circle around the sun. Time makes you bolder for sure but I smarter? I do not know.</p><p>&quot;I will love till the end of time&quot; is probably all that I can promise nowadays as I walk through metal detectors. The words I said could be silver. I am still getting called weird alot and I am not sure about it or anything at all. Am I still loving in the wrong way? How can a man love like that? Tina Turner.</p><p>Most times I just want to go home and sleep away my troubles or do what I like. If you insert yourself into the struggle you might be setting up yourself for a war. I thought the point was for your days to go easy. What is anything worth, time, space, bueaty, monkeys, salvation, freedom and what are you willing to pay for it? What are you willing to give up. As I always say; if it makes you happy.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2384/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 21 Jun 2017 11:19:52 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/ Ruby (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/ <p>I am hyper aware of my own mortality, the number of branches that are in my tree. The world around me lives only by grace. We are not special. This has only gotten worse as I get older and my tolerance level has changed to the point where I have to see five steps down the road or I am not even going to jump on that train to hell that you are so passionate about.</p><p>Fools and charlatans are now growing out of the woodwork like a fungus, while I am simply trying to get through the day. A train to wreck. They say we should all strive to be like Jesus but I am a humble man; knowledge, wisdom and understanding are all I seek. I solve problems and time is money.</p><p>At some point in time you have to stop chasing society because you never really catch it. If a hand dem a bruk then you will have to pop necks to keep up, shake them down and break them like bread. There is no end, the more you have - the more you want and the more you give the more they take.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2381/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sat, 20 May 2017 21:47:39 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/ Oceans (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/ <p>It has been roughly a month since I have written anything. Literally constipated does not even describe the state I am in. I have not been spreading my passions even. Allowed myself to be highly focused on an impossible mission while neglecting my numerous other pursuits. I must stop but I cannot like a monkey in a forest with infinite trees. Chaos reaching out and grabbing me by the neck.</p><p>You have to spend your life doing something. It is clearly obvious that nothing really matters and people are just building little world blankets in which to wrap themselves into while everything else burns by the heat of the sun. I am the king of my own little world and everyone else is wondering how much income tax I am charging my citizens. I am not charging them anything. I am just really bad at it. We are just chilling out here trying to find out the best way to escape or achieve ultimate knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Obviously we are not perfect and might never be.</p><p>I just had to push this one out, like a baby 3 months overdue. I have a splitting headache and I am not sure if its the words or the fact that I did not take my lunch time break to stare into the distance. I am almost done. Just another sentence. Publish or perish. I have a few unfinished trees which I need to climb but for now I will settle with just this one until I get the will to let go and move on.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2380/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Wed, 10 May 2017 16:52:52 -0500 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/ Panda (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/ <p>Lately I have tried but I have fallen into a group of people who have no opinions on anything at all. Idle chatter is the new hanging out on the corner. They never know what they are doing but know everything that they should have done had they had foresite enough to actually think about life in the present instead of going around talking in circles. Miss me wid dat.</p><p>In a world of limited reasources it all comes down to how much you are willing to sacrifice to get what you want. How deep are you willing to swim? The wars the you are willing to start in order to win the future and live forever. Why do you do it? Build a ship only to wreak it on the shore.</p><p>Its a wicked game. I have to be constantly aware that I do not know everything at every moment of the day. I might be forgetting to do something at this very moment as I type - the world may be on fire. Is this the way to love? But I must carry on, I must strive ever forward.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2366/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Thu, 23 Feb 2017 12:15:48 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2362/ O Sailor (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2362/ <p>I often go back and listen to some of my favorite songs and try to hold the thoughts and times in my head concurrently. The happiness and sadness and wonder and mystery. All the love I had in my mind. I am a lucky man. It would be easy to try to go back to that place but I am old now. I must move ever forward. I embrace the memories like a old friend whos name I have long forgotten. Everyday is a winding road. We are truly lucky.</p><p>Young people tend to look at life as a destination - a point at which they reach happiness. But as I get older I see that you are never truly ready for happiness. Shadow boxing. Happiness happens. Everyday, all around you. Finding the happiness in every moment is the real challenge. You will see it if you stop chasing down the future. Be consistent, be focused and waste not.</p><p>My missing brother showed up last weekend back with his old routine. Some people cannot be saved. It is not about love. Well at least he is alive and apparently well. Everyone is looking for someone to save them - someone to make them happy but it has all been done before. I cannot save everyone, not even myself. You have to find your own way.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2362/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Tue, 31 Jan 2017 08:35:26 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2355/ Technically (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2355/ <p>The past week and a half of cleaning and fixing random stuff has been a welcomed release from the hustle and bustle of work. You would be surprised how calming it is to work in almost total silence at almost snails pace with no one around except for the call when dinner is ready. Having a double sink is really handy.</p><p>My beard has grown back in over the Christmas holiday and I have no way with which to shave it. I may have to go into town to get a fresh trim. I am getting a bit accustomed to not going outside at all or spending money. Even though haircuts are cheaper here (as far as I can remember) and there is less competition for the barbers chair. </p><p>I did manage to spend sometime on the computer while I am here. Chipped away at some code that I had been working on forever. Discovered that whatsapp groups are trash, full of idlers with no hobbies. I need to get on with these end of year posts before they pile up on me and I end up not doing any at all.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2355/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Mon, 16 Jan 2017 09:52:53 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2354/ All the way up (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2354/ <p>Its the end of another year and my savings are in a deficit. We are alive and well enough to continue to put pen to paper (or keyboard to computer) in this case. All the leaves are brown. I guess that is all that really matters in the end of a year. There are some lists that I need to make but I will likely wait until next year because having Christmas day on a Sunday creates weird holidays this time around the sun.</p><p>Half of my winter break will be spend meticulously and randomly cleaning my moms house. This would annoy most normal people so I prefer to do it alone where I can focus and think while the cold breeze blows and the community is so quiet I can hear the freshly cooked food moving through my stomach.</p><p>Maybe one day we will look back at this and say; &quot;remember the time you disappeared for a year?&quot;. Some of us are just keep rolling, never gathering moss but we are too old now. Maybe it has reached the point where everything that you think you know about other people will be put to test. A lifetime of dreams and foolishness comes around in a full circle and we can finally sit back and watch our prophecies unravel before our eyes. I am my brother&#039;s keeper.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2354/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Thu, 29 Dec 2016 12:12:18 -0600 http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2351/ Isle Of Bones (Logbook) http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2351/ <p>First day of my Christmas vacation was spent washing shirts so that I do not have to wash them when I come back. I have to avoid addictions, especially things that consume resources. I have to spend time away from it all. It does not help that the auto parts dealership across the road has been playing music the entire day. I have to clear my head and organise my holiday projects that I will attempt to finish - unlikely, but one must always keep striving for a better self - for completion.</p><p>A flood of 2017 Soca has once again graced my stereo. Will I spend another year listening to a hundred songs until I narrow down my list of favorites. Sometimes my focus gets the better of me. It is never as good as the first time. I will compare everything to 2015 because that is my reference point. A point of reference is like a corner stone.</p><p>Most things do not matter to me. The foolish wants of the inconsiderate. The whims of impatience. I have no time for temporary desires that sway back and forth like waves hitting the shoreline. There is precious little time in which you have to do the things you need to do. How you view the world and how the world views you are separate things. If you choose to stay inside your own box and cast your view onto the world and let it reflect that is your choice - you are only limiting you self by constantly asking the wrong questions.</p> <p><strong>by owen</strong> <a href="http://owensoft.net/v4/item/2351/#comment">make a comment</a></p> Sat, 17 Dec 2016 08:06:56 -0600